Guest Post by Bellaisa’, relationship expert.
When I was younger I wasn’t very honest with myself. I pretended that I was something more, or less, than I actually was a good portion of the time.
Sometimes I pretended to be someone different in order to fit in. Like when I would pretend that I hated sitting at home and reading so that my friends thought I was a party animal like them. The truth was that I loved sitting at home and reading! It was actually my favorite thing to do!
I also pretended to be someone I wasn’t in order to impress other people. Like when I decided to act as if I had tons of money and buy all my friends ‘a round’ at the bar, just so that the guy I liked thought I did something that made a lot of money. Of course bills would not get paid because of it!
I have been really good at pretending when I sit back and think about it.
- I pretended to be a ‘bad’ girl to look cool.
- I pretended to enjoy drinking when it actually just made me tired and feel sick.
- I pretended to like people who were mean to me – just so they would like me someday.
- I pretended to enjoy seeing my mother-in-law, when she has never treated in a respectful way and I actually cringe at seeing her.
The list goes on and on.
And then one day I woke up and decided to be honest with myself. And ever since that day, I’ve been happier, kinder, and more positive in my life.
I still catch myself being dishonest sometimes, but now I’m aware of it and can correct it (quickly) when I see my dishonest side popping up!
What is There To Be Honest About?
There are many different things that we are dishonest about, not only to ourselves but to others as well, and if we want to have a happier life then we need to start being honest with ourselves. Here are just a few of the things we can start being honest about.
Be Honest About Your Finances
With credit at our complete access, and wealthy neighbors to spy on, it can be hard to be honest about our finances. Most of us want to keep up with our neighbors, so when we see they got a brand new car, we go out and get more credit for a car of our own, and consequently get ourselves further into debt in the process.
In essence, we pretend like we can afford many things that we can’t, and eventually we end up owing way more than we can ever pay off.
Debt causes stress. It causes stress on yourself and on any relationships tied to your debt. You have to be honest about your income and your expenses if you want to be debt free and live a life of financial freedom.
Be honest with your finances and stop trying to keep up with the people around you. You won’t be any happier if you have the things they have – you will just be poorer.
Be Honest About Your Beliefs
Beliefs are what make us the special and unique people we are and yet we compromise our beliefs to fit in with the crowd or make ourselves appear to be someone we are not.
Sometimes we also compromise our beliefs so that we can avoid ridicule or teasing. This happens often with friends and family. We pretend like we believe something we don’t so they will just stay off our backs.
Your beliefs come from your experiences in life and your own personal truth. They are the ideas that you believe right to the very core because you have either seen proof of them or because you want to believe them. Either way they are your beliefs and you don’t need to be ashamed of the way you feel about life.
If you don’t believe what your friend believes then that’s okay! You are not just like your friend, and they are not just like you. If we all walked around with the same beliefs in life then none of us would learn anything from each other because we would all think and act alike. It would be a disaster!
Be Honest in Your Relationships
How many of us stay in relationships that we don’t want to be in anymore because we can’t be honest with ourselves about how bad they really are for us? I know I’ve done it quite a few times.
Toxic relationships are full of negative experiences and feelings, and when we stay in them we cause ourselves unnecessary pain and hurt. I’m not just talking about romantic relationships. I’m talking about friends and family as well.
One friend I had was so toxic that she would literally make me sick to be around. I would feel nauseous and upset and uneasy around her – and as soon as I realized how toxic she was for me and ‘broke-up’ with her, I felt better.
You don’t have to keep someone in your life that is toxic to you. It’s not a mandatory part of life, and it’s not healthy. Be honest with yourself and maintain relationships that you know are positive and lift you up, and also let go of relationships that you know are negative and are not going to get any better.
Be Honest About Your Own Personal Happiness
Are you doing something that does not make you happy? If you are in an unhappy job, relationship, or commitment and you are tricking yourself into believing that you need to stay there, or that ‘This is just the way life is!’ then you are not being honest about your happiness.
Your inner-self, the one that tells you whether or not you are doing something good or bad, will always be there to guide you towards a happy life. All you have to do is trust it and listen to it. When you really give it your attention and only do things that make you happy, then you are being honest with yourself.
So as you can see being honest with yourself is important in all areas of your life. It ensures that your life is full of happiness and runs along smoothly with less stress than a dishonest life. Always be honest with yourself and others. Don’t waste any more time being someone you are not.